I forgot about this blog until my friends started posting on theirs. I love reading their posts so I thought I would give this another shot.
My life is abundantly better and more exciting these days. Doug and I have made a baby and he's the cutest and most wonderful baby ever. Doug and I both agree that our life before Drayson was quite boring and lame. Now it all makes sense. I'm not implying that Doug and I have a clue on how to be parents and not ruin our beautiful little boy, but we at least know what we will be working towards for the rest of our lives. Right now Dray baby is wrestling my pillow pet. Adorable.
Doug and I still take photos for people, but rarely. I will get back into it more when Dray is a little older.
I have become a Mom. Suddenly I understand my own mother more. Suddenly I hate horrible lyrics in music. Disney stars gone bad make me angry beyond all reason. I check to make sure Dray is breathing when he's napping. I wonder how anything and everything could be eaten and choked on. I want to bubble wrap my house. I cry when I watch Oral B commercials that focus on Dads. I cry when babies are born on movies, tv shows, commercials, etc. I talk in baby talk 95% of my day. I post 10 more photos on instagram and facebook of Drayson in a day than I need to, I can't help myself. I am just obsessed with this kid. My car CD player blasts Kenny Loggins Lullabies, Mindy Gledhill, and Backstreet Boy's new cd (because it is wonderful and very family friendly). He coughs and I want to take him to the doctor. He farts and I wonder if it's normal for it to smell that bad already. I wake up in a panic when Dray has slept through the night. I glare at Doug if he's brushing his teeth too loud after I've put Dray to bed. Poor Doug. He is married to a crazy lady. I listen to the song Come What May from Moulin Rouge and think of Drayson instead of can can dancers. I could care less about how my hair looks most days. I prefer Doug's clothes to my own. I talk about eating healthy to lose baby weight but I bake cookies instead. I can hardly form sentences that make any sense at all when I talk to people, I think due to lack of sleep or brain cells that died during pregnancy.
I clap and cheer for Drayson when he poops. I pop my boob out to feed Dray without considering how my brother or others in the room might feel about it. I want to physically harm people who are not good to babies. New mommy problems.
I am so afraid to mess this mommy job up that I am at my own mom's house almost every day. I'm getting braver and braver though. One day at a time. Baby steps even ;) I think God took a look at all my family and decided Dray would be safe even if I mess up. Thank goodness for my family.
The other night I had the best dream ever. I was somewhere doing something and walked into a room where Drayson was being babysat by other people. He was old enough to be walking pretty well. He looked a little nervous to be around all these people, but trying to be brave. As soon as he caught site of me though, he ran over to me crying and shaking. He grabbed onto me with his arms tight around my neck and gave me a "I'm never letting go" kind of hug. Everything in me felt warm and I knew I was Dray's sanctuary and that I would never be anything less than that for him. I woke up crying and just overwhelmed with love for my little guy. God blesses me with the sweetest of dreams. His tender mercies never cease and often come to me in dream form. That's another subject for another post some other time though.
Anyway, I love my husband, I love my Drayson, and I have never been happier. Drayson is sleeping now, so I should probably sleep too. Instead I will probably clean up the house...because while I was pregnant and "nesting" I developed a clean house obsession that to this day I cannot shake. Again, Mommy problems.
*Side note....Mindy Gledhill's voice calms and puts babies to sleep. At least it has worked magic for Doug and I... and my sister Britni's baby Mei. Her new CD Pocketful of Poetry is AMAZING.
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